Riismaa Psychological Services

Therapy for Individuals, Couples, & Families

Anneli Riismaa PsyD

Talk About It

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Most of the time when we are going through something difficult in our lives we typically keep it to ourselves. Why do we do this? Is it because we are embarrassed or afraid that we will be judged? Are we afraid to be seen as weak because we are feeling overwhelmed or can’t deal with the problem? Are we afraid to express our emotions openly because we were told as children that we should not let others see us cry? Whatever the reason is, we need to realize that we are human and that we are NOT alone in whatever it is that we are going through.

It is certainly understandable that we may not be able to talk with those that are closest to us, such as family members, partners, spouses, or friends, but there is always someone we can reach out to. If you can relate to this than I encourage you to think about people in your life that have impacted you in a positive way; people you can trust… See if there is someone you can reach out to that is willing to listen without judgement and maybe guide you through this difficult time. If there is absolutely no one, think of organizations that offer counseling, advising, employee assistance programs if need be. But most of all don’t keep it inside, because it isn’t healthy for you and it’s is probably causing other problems–emotional or physical. There is always a way out, sometimes we just need someone else to help us see it.

Baby Blues versus Postpartum Depression

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When Baby Blues turn into Postpartum Depression

Having a baby is one of the happiest moments in a woman’s life. Babies bring out an abundance of different emotions. Most of those emotions are positive and exciting. However, there are also negative and even frightening feelings that can accompany the birth of your child.

Baby blues is a common name used to describe feelings new moms experience after coming home from the hospital. These “blues” refer generally to the feelings of sadness, anxiety and fear.

Giving birth and transitioning yourself into becoming a mother (or a mother of more than one) is not always the happiest time of your life. Society portrays new moms to be always happy and positive.  This picture is not always realistic. It is normal to be exhausted, feel vulnerable, to have crying spells, feelings of anxiety, depressed mood, and various other negative symptoms. Many mothers feel terrible about negative emotions after the birth of their child and blame themselves for being “bad mothers”. Experiencing these feelings is normal and does not make you a “bad mom”. 

Seeking out some relief and assistance should be one of the priorities for any mom. You will be a better mom when you are able to get an extra nap, take a moment to meditate, have trusted people to take the baby duty so you can spend a little time alone to reconnect with yourself.

Even though experiencing the negative emotions is normal in these circumstances, when these feelings last for more than two weeks, it is important to seek help. When these feelings don’t dissipate and lessen in intensity, they may develop into Postpartum Depression. In this case it is important that the mother seek out professional help as soon as possible.

The Challenge of Children

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Let’s face it – kids can be jerks. They’re sticky, they’re loud, and they don’t listen. As caregivers we are responsible for helping mold the leaders of tomorrow, but sometimes it’s hard to look past the sass and goop.  However, under the sticky and occasionally obnoxious exteriors are little hearts of gold that are ready to learn and explore. They want to touch everything, put everything in their mouths, put jackets on by themselves, and test the boundaries of parental patience and we start to feel angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed we forget that it’s all part of the childhood experience.  As caregivers it is OUR responsibility to guide those strong willed kids to find appropriate ways to express themselves. So if you’re a caregiver who finds yourself frustrated with your child’s behaviors here are some little things to try:

  1. When working with a little one: 
    1. These guys are a lot smarter than we give them credit for so it’s important to get down on their level.
    2.  Ask them to verbalize why the problem behavior is indeed a problem.
      • For example: “Taylor, why do you think it’s not a good to choice to hit your brother?”
    3. Compliment sandwich: 
      • Taylor, you’re an awesome big brother, hitting your brother hurts him, I know you can do a great job so lets practice gentle touches!
  2. Working with adolescents:
    1. Work with your child and identify the problem behavior. Keep in mind that we want to reinforce the message that the behavior, NOT the child, is the problem.
    2. Identify appropriate consequences. A consequence only works when the child has the incentive to be relieved after good behavior. Extended time periods on consequences can result in loss of interest and a reduced desire to do well if they don’t think they’re ever going to “get out of the hole.” Remember – a natural consequence is the most effective and it is a natural result to the action. 
    3.  Compliment sandwich:
      • “Grace, you’ve always done a great job following your curfew, so when you missed this last one I was worried about you. Next time I need a phone call/text when you’re going to be late otherwise we will need to revisit our agreement for your curfew. I love you and want you to be safe so let’s make it work!”

No matter what the age group, kids want some semblance of control on their lives. It’s hard when you’re surrounded by adults always telling you they know better. So encourage a sense of team work, give your child some control over their lives, and let them know you’re working with them, not against!

EMDR

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EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy approach used to heal a wide range of concerns including trauma. EMDR can be applied to any life even that is distressing or that causes maladaptive behaviors.During EMDR, we process unresolved memories that are linked to your current symptoms or distress. Reprocessing these experiences with EMDR allows the client to gain awareness, and incorporate adaptive behaviors. EMDR will help resolve emotional pain and psychological disorders.

The Quest For Happiness

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The search for happiness lies within each human being. What is happiness? That answer may vary from individual to individual, but there is always a common thread that reflects internal peace. Achieving internal peace is a difficult yet at the same time a remarkably simple process. The end result would can somewhat be described as being able to look at yourself in the mirror at night and being able to tell yourself that you did well today. It is not so much of a destination but a journey. Internal peace is not achieved with perfect harmony every hour every day. It is a process of growth that results in a ever so little bit better “me” daily. It is a journey of doing our best – whatever that may be in the moment. Of not criticizing ourselves and others around us. It is a journey of self acceptance and self improvement. We need to mindful of our emotional state throughout the day and beware of our pitfalls. We need to learn to redirect ourselves in the beginning of a downward spiral, and to remove ourselves from individuals who tear us down and undermine us. It is a long journey but certainly one worth taking.

Mental Vitamins

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Friday February 19, 2016

Most of us are relatively health conscious when it comes to our physical bodies. People are eating better and cleaner foods. More individuals and families turn away from GMOs, gluten, and sugar, and opt for organic, whenever possible. People exercise and consume daily supplements to assist their bodies in recovering from illnesses or to simply sustain health and youthfulness.

Sadly, many of us neglect our emotional, spiritual and mental health, when it comes to the same daily management routine. How many of us meditate or pray daily? Do we watch what we allow into our brains as carefully as we watch our diets for our bodies? How many hours of mindless and mentally numbing, even deadening material do we allow into our brains via television, music and radio? Are the messages that we hear uplifting and positive? Do we sustain life for our feelings and our thoughts? That’s why we provide daily mental vitamins. Commit to reading something positive an uplifting every day. Monitor your consumption of mental and emotional junk food. And follow us on Twitter or Instagram for your daily dose of mental vitamins.