Riismaa Psychological Services

Therapy for Individuals, Couples, & Families

Anneli Riismaa PsyD

Basic Anxiety

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Anxiety is one of the most valuable alarm systems of the body.

Examine the context of your life, not only the immediate environment during the anxiety attack. Emotional honesty is the key to success in recognizing your triggers.

Most of the times, it would be normal for you to have anxiety in the context of your life events – normalize it instead of fearing it. That step alone will create a decrease in anxiety, which in turn will lead to clearer thinking process and improved decision making that will lower the anxiety.

Review the context of your situation: external (not under your control) factors and internal (under your control) factors.

What can you change?

Always work with only the one most immediate problem at the time!

Talk about your anxiety. Ride out the wave.

Seek professional help.

Stress Induced Depression

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The body has a way of telling us that something is wrong with us: the body delivers pain, and shuts some of the emotional, mental as well as physical aspects down to recover or to protect itself.

Being emotionally overwhelmed for a long period of time or being under prolonged stress without a recovery period may result in depression or physical illness.

What are early signs of depression? Ex: having a hard time getting out of bed; can’t function properly; physical illness; excessive tiredness; increased irritability; change in sleep; feeling down; memory diminishes; loss of enjoyment in daily activities; hopelessness, etc.

Early intervention: get uninterrupted sleep, exercise, eat better, talk to other adults, establish a routine, get professional help, and get help from your spiritual/religious organization.

Depression cycle runs on the average for about 2-3 months.

Look in your life for something that you can change.

We live in an instant gratification and a quick fix society. Look for a change with a long term impact – making it will take some time.

Emotions need exercise and it may hurt to exercise your emotions. Ex: Physical therapy after a broken bone – painful exercise and time are required to restore the physical functioning.

Action is the antidote for depression.

Depression is real. Get professional help! 

Emotional Health

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Emotional health is the ability to control emotions and behavior; to be able to handle life’s challenges; recover from trials; and maintain and strengthen relationships. Just like with physical health, effort is required.

Emotional honesty is a requirement for emotional health. Emotional honesty is being honest about one’s true feelings and being vulnerable. Emotional honesty unlocks the power to grow. Vulnerability means that we recognize our genuine feelings like helplessness, fear, loneliness, failure, etc., which are masked by the feeling of anger. Vulnerability is the core of love, belonging, happiness, courage, empathy, and creativity. We have been endowed with a wide range of emotions and we need to learn to use them well.

Emotional prevention: avoid “emotional explosions” – address the issue when it is still small and relatively insignificant instead of waiting until you can’t take it anymore; expression of feelings – it is okay to express how you feel.

Communication

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In any relationship: commitment gives you the longevity of the relationship, but communication gives you the quality of it.

LISTENING – the single most important skill you will ever have. Practice reflective statements; listen to the affect and watch for non-verbal communication.

Communication with self: taking time with you on daily basis; thinking; reflecting; being honest with yourself. You can’t be there for others if you are not well. Do you know your early signs of emotional wearing out? Do you know what will “fix” you? Do you communicate that to your loved ones? How do you talk to yourself?

Communication with others: taking time to talk to family members regularly, especially to your spouse; establishing clarity and definitions of terms with others; do not practice mind reading; criticism, “silent treatments”, and contempt/sarcasm. These are the number one killers of relationships (including the one you have with self).

Alone time. Communication in prayer or meditation: daily prayer or meditation, and the improvement of it. This is your foundation and your key to the knowing of yourself.